David's Rescue- from my perspective.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

8:30am-

David: "Just come. My mom will watch the kids."

Me: "No. It would just be better if I stayed. Be safe, okay. If you die, I am going to be mad at you for the rest of my life."

David: "I'll be fine. Just relax."

Me: "Hey! You need to be nice to me." Dave walks out the door.

Annie comes in to bring me the keys to the car.

Me: "Is he really not coming in to say goodbye?" David walks in. He comes over to give me a hug.

David: "I love you."

Cicely: "I love you too. Just call me and tell me where you are going before you get there, okay?"

David: "We will probably go to either American Fork or Guardmans Pass, but I will call you."

...

12:30pm- "Dave. It's me. I'm just wondering where you are and how you guys are doing. Call me when you get a sec. "

1:00- Why hasn't he called me? He is in so much trouble. No, he needs this time with his friends. It's fine. He's fine. I worry to much.

4:00- They should be getting hungry soon. I bet they will be coming down off the mountain within the hour. Plus, it's going to be dark soon.

5:01- Call David- no answer. Call Annie- no answer. Call Spencer- no answer. Call Scott- no answer. Why don't I have Anna's (Scott's wife) phone number?

5:12- via text: Hey. I'm starting to get worried. Is everything alright?

Check the window. Any cars? Great, it is snowing. Is my phone on? Check the window again. No lights. Call him. No answer. Check the window...

Something is wrong. No it's not. He does this every time he goes snowboarding. He's fine.

5:45- Call Dave.

5:50- via text: It is totally dark outside. You have to be done, right? Call me ASAP.

6:05- Call Annie.

6:14- Call Dave.

6:50- This is getting out of control. Should I even be worried? I don't want to be mad at him. It's going to be fine. Right?

Call Dave.

Call Annie.

Call Scott.

Call Spencer.

6:58- via email-

Hey Joe. I know this is weird, but Dave and Spencer went snowmobiling today- I think they went up to American Fork- but, I can't get a hold of them. It has been dark for hours and I have been calling all of them all day long with no answer. I feel like 8 o'clock is really late to still be snowboarding. Do you happen to know what kind of car Spence was driving or possibly even the license plate number? I'm a worrier. And I don't want to be a widow. Please call me if you get this: 801.520.3585.
Thanks.
-Cicely

7:20- Call Dave.

7:26- Call Dave.

Something has to be wrong. It has been dark for hours and if none of them have service- they are still up on the hill. Something is wrong. No, it's not. It's fine. No, it's not. Something is wrong.

7:30- My sister, brother-in-law and nephew walk in the door.

Me: "Danny? Should I be worried? I mean I shouldn't be right? Or should I be?"

Danny: "It is most likely that there is some mechanical problem with the snowmobile and they are just having trouble putting it on the truck. I wouldn't worry just yet."

Me: "Yeah, totally. Although, I am really worried though."

Danny: "I'll drive up Big Cottonwood to Guardsman and see if I can find their car. Do you know what they were driving?"

No. I have no clue. But Danny said not to worry and I really do trust his judgment. How am I going to tell David that he can't do this anymore without him being mad at me? I can't wait for him to walk in the door so I can hug him. Maybe Anna has some clue about where they are. Maybe I can find Anna's number on facebook or something- at least she can tell me that this isn't a big deal and I can stop worrying...

7:43- Call David.

8:01- Call David.

8:10- Danny walks in- pulls me aside. "I didn't find anything. I think it is time that we call the police."

Oh shit. If Danny thinks we need to call the police then we need to call the police and if the police are involved that means that David is missing and that means that he is not coming home and that means that they either fell off the canyon wall driving down or they are stuck on the hill...in the dark...and cold... Oh, please, no.

Tears.

Danny: "Do you have any idea what car they were driving?"

Me: "No. I emailed Joe, but he hasn't called me back. I don't have anyone else's phone numbers. Spencer lives with his Dad- I could go up there and see what I can find out.

Danny: "I'll drive you."

8:15- We pull up to Spencer's house, a girl comes walking out to the driveway as we are getting out of the car.

Her: "Cicely?"

Me: "Anna?!"

We hug and cry. Hard.

Anna (between sobs): "Where are they?! I'm freaking out! I've just been home by myself so mad at him for not calling and I came up here because I thought maybe they were here. I've been here for about 30 minutes and then you pulled up."

While Anna and I cry and talk, Danny calls the police.

Me: "I'm so glad you were here. I've been trying to get your number. I just don't know what to do? I don't even know where they went or what car they are driving."

Anna: "I dropped Scott off. They are driving a big Silver truck with a big snowmobile trailer."

Our search began.

_________________________________
The next few hours was spent gathering clues about where they were, what they were driving and what they possibly had with them.

Clue #1: Joe called me back and gave us so more information about the car and the snowmobiles. He also told us that they have been out looking for Spencer past midnight more than a dozen times. This surprisingly made us feel a lot better. But not good enough to stop worrying.

Clue #2: At about 10:00 pm Anna called Scott's parents to let them know what was going on. A few minutes later Scott's mom called Anna and by a fantastic miracle he had mentioned to her that they stopped for food in Heber.

We knew at least what part of the state they were in! This was a major breakthrough for us.

I called the Summit Police Department right away.

Dispatch: "Were they driving a silver Dodge Ram with a trailer on the back?"

Me: "Yes!!!" They knew where the truck was! They knew what canyon they went to! They will know how to find them!

Dispatch: "We were just waiting for someone to call and claim the vehicle- we will send a Search and Rescue team right away."


They have a chance. I hope.

__________________________________________


I did a lot of speaking with the leader of the search and rescue team and Spencer's brother- giving and getting information about what was happening, what supplies they may have with them, descriptions of persons, snow mobiles, or any other information that might be helpful.

Anna was with me. I really liked having her there- she seemed to calm me down.

At about midnight they started the search.

Anna stayed with me and cried and we talked and cried and talked.

It was blizzarding outside and it wasn't making us feel any better.

Anna's dog was in her car and she decided to take him home and then come back up to my parent's house. The blizzard was so bad that she didn't make it to her house. She decided to go to Scott's parents house which was closer and much safer.

I don't think I've ever felt more alone.
___________________________________________

Every once in a while I would get updates from the team. No sign of him.

At 3:30AM the leader called and told me that the weather conditions were too bad- and that he had to pull his guys off the hill. The team would resume the search in the morning.

My world shattered.

Between sobs: "I don't know anything about this sort of thing. Are they going to make it through the night?"

John the leader: "Yes. As long as they built a fire, and found some sort of shelter they should be okay."

"Thank you so much."

I wish I could say that I believed him.

____________________________________________

After that phone call I was not myself. I wish I could explain how I was feeling, but I don't think I can. A part of me knew that he had to still be alive, but most of me thought that something had gone wrong and I would never see him again.

Terrible thoughts.

I sat and watched the fire. Time wasn't moving.

More terrible thoughts. Planning his funeral in my head. How could I possibly continue without him? Other terrible thoughts. The worst thought of all: How am I going to explain to Miles and Faye that they are never going to see their Daddy again? How am I going to explain that to myself?

I'm not strong enough for this.

Every so often my Mom would come upstairs from sleeping with the kids or my Dad would come in and try to comfort me. Like I said, I wasn't the same person. I was mean to my Dad. And I was uncontrollably sobbing and hysterical with my mom.

I guess I just needed to be alone and think about him.

___________________________________

I spoke to Anna a few times. She was planning on going up to where their truck was as soon as the snow stopped. We ended up going up Parley's Canyon before the storm was over. She had a few of her family members in her car and David's Dad, Sister (Aly), and Brother-in-law (Davey) joined me.

Aly and I sat in the back of the car. She was so sweet to me. She would just hug me or touch me to calm me down. Most of the car ride I was uncontrollably crying again. I tried to stop, but, I literally couldn't.

There were signs of daylight- which meant they would start the search soon.

Aly kept saying: they are going to find them.
Anna kept saying that too.

I felt like I was the only one who was going to be prepared when they told us...
____________________________________________

We got up there and the Rescue team was gathering. There were so many of them. I wanted to hug them and say 1000 thank yous, but all I could do was stand there and let my cheeks get hot and wet again.

The Sheriff gathered us and gave us a little talk about what may or may not happen. I don't really remember what he said, but it was something like, "We can't promise anything and it may not be good." I'm pretty sure that everything else he said was positive, but I don't think I got past those two things.

The men geared up and one by one left on their snowmobiles to find my husband.

More and more people showed up to help. And more and more people called and offered help. There were thousands of prayers and thoughts. and I am grateful for every single one of them.
___________________________________

At 10:15AM the Sheriff came out with his walkie-talkie and announced that they were found:

"We found all four of them and they are in good condition. They were somewhere that they shouldn't have been. We should be seeing them in about 30 minutes."

Any words I could use to describe what that moment felt like to me would never do it justice.

He was alive! I would get to hold him again! And I would never let him go. His life wasn't over. My life wasn't over.

About 45 minutes later we saw the brigade coming down the mountain. He was getting close enough to touch. As soon as they pulled into the lot- I ran to him.

"Hey," he sighed with a half smile as he pulled off his mask and hood. "I am so sorry."

I hugged him and sobbed.

I believe I was actually repeating over and over, "You don't ever get to do that to me again!" in between cries. I wasn't sure if he could understand me or not.

He just hugged me tighter and closer and said, "It's okay. I'm okay. It's okay."


________________________________________

There were a lot of things we found out after all of this had happened.

- There were avalanches near where they were.
- The Sheriff told us later that they hadn't expected them to make it through the night.
- It was literally a miracle that no one was hurt or sick. They each had some minor frostbite, but that was it.
-Not to mention everything that happened to them when they were out there.

The Team Leader and the Sheriff just kept saying how "lucky" they were.

________________________________________

I know that physically he was there and that I could see and touch him, but I think I was afraid that it was just my imagination and he would be leaving again soon.

I couldn't help but just stare at his face and be holding on to some part of him.

We got to ride down the canyon together side by side, thanks to our friend Matt Call. I heard David's side of the story. It was amazing. And awful. And wonderful. And it is something I will never forget.

______________________________________

Now, it is January, 26. This happened two and half weeks ago. For some reason, it took me a really long time to write any of this down. I started a few days after it happened and couldn't get myself to finish it. Until today. And I'm really happy that I have. Maybe now I can get past it and not cry every time I talk or think about it.

Someone told me that- although it was awful, she hopes I don't ever really get over it. So I always have that feeling of complete and total love for David in my heart forever. And I will.

I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about the situation. Too many to share. And most of them- probably too personal as well, but I will say this: I love that man. And I am so immensely grateful for the prayers and miracles that took place on that day.


Click here to get a view of what happened on David's side. David's sister, Annie, blogged this just after the event.

Before I finish, I want to add one very important thing:

Thank you a million times to the Search and Rescue team. The Wastach County Search and Rescue team are one of the best in the entire nation. And they are all volunteers. Every one of them. I am incredibly grateful for their amazing expertise and wanted to just hug each one of them that came triumphantly down the mountain that day. You guys have no idea how incredible you are and how many people your efforts affect. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Loves.
-Cicely

Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown

It is Christmas Eve. Miles is asleep and Faye's eye lid's are getting heavy. I love Christmas Eve. I loved it as a kid when there was a little magic in the air and I love it as a mom- there is still magic in the air, but it is just a different brand of pixie dust.

We are spending the night at my parents house in SLC and although I do love my home in Erie- I am not missing it at all. I love being around my family and David's family: playing games (including but not limited to the Wii), eating fattening treats, reading Christmas stories and talking all about Santa and and his reindeer with the kids. Miles is learning about baby Jesus and Mary. His favorite Christmas song is Away in a Manger and my heart grows three sizes every time I hear him singing it.

It isn't Christmas yet, but I feel like I have already been showered with gifts and not in the tangible sense. Being here in Utah I have been learning so much about myself and my kids and life in general. I feel like we are all growing up a little bit. It makes me kind of sad and kind of happy at the same time.

It was Faye's birthday on Dec 22. She is one year old. I'm sure I will post a big birthday love for her soon. I can't believe it has been a year. Pretty soon she will be walking and toddling and she won't be my little baby anymore. I already miss her babyness, but I can't wait for her to start talking and skipping and playing with Miles...

Miles starts primary in a week and a half. It hurts me to think that he is old enough to be so independent. He is in preschool and soon he will be in primary. My heart just shrunk a little bit.

I am excited about life right now and the stages that my kids are in right now. I understand that pretty soon I will be blogging about Miles' first loose tooth or Faye's first bike ride or driver's licenses or graduation. I am certain I will be sad and happy again every year at this time and throughout the rest of the months that aren't December.

So Merry Christmas, Cicely from the future. Remember when Miles got his train set for Christmas and was so excited he didn't want to open any other presents? Remember when we brought Faye home from the hospital on Christmas Eve and she was only 2 days old? Remember when David was in med school and we got by on student loans and love? Those were the good ol' days, eh?

Merry Christmas and Love for the New Year.
-Cicely Suite Cain

Utah Summer 2009.

It is taking way too long for me to finish posting our trip to Utah, so I will be speed blogging. Here is what did for the rest of the time we were in Utah:

Hung out with family-

We are so blessed to have spent some time with Grandpa Great before he passed away. He was such a great example to us.


Faye loves Grandma Great.


Loves to Gram Gram.


What did you get for Father's Day, Grandpa Jeff?


Swinging with Aunt Annie.


Hogle Zoo photo opp.


This is worth watching. Miles and I watch this over and over- its much funnier now that we know he is okay.


And friends-

Miles' girlfriend Lily.


Izaiah and Miles meeting for lunch.



St. George with the Suites-

Coolest playground ever.









Tub time.


Coolness.


Faye's first swim.


More awesome parks in SG


We love Utah! Thanks to everyone we got to play with there. We miss you!

(Meant to be said by the old guy on Christmas Vacation): The Blessing.

Continuing our Utah trip...

We were blessed, literally, to have Faye's blessing while we were with all of our family and a few of our friends in Utah. It was a beautiful blessing. David is such a great father and he loves Faye so much. Here are a few highlights of the special day.

Faye was lucky enough to wear the dress that my Mom made almost 30 years ago for Celeste. It was perfect for her. Thanks Mom.

Ps. My baby is gorgeous. Seriously, I look at her everyday and just don't even believe that such a beautiful person exists. Maybe it's just her constant cherubic smile, I don't know. I do know I'm her Mom and everything, but isn't she unusually cute?

The Bees Knees Game

We took Miles on Trax to the Bees Game. It was super fun and although the people we were supposed to meet there decicded to be too elitist and only stay in their box seats, we enjoyed ourselves anyway.



He was a little nervous about the Bee, but he did sing him the "Squishing up my Baby Bumble Bee" song. It was cute.






He wanted to roll like the other kids, but found a faster way to get down the hill.



And of course his favorite thing to do at the game...

The Cheesum.

Miles loving refers to The Children's Museum as the "cheese um."

Here are some adventures we had with Max and Tatum before we left and once we arrived at Discovery Gateway.



Sadly there is no sound because my very old camera doesn't allow it and I didn't have room in my bag to bring the video cam. Boo.

Too much fun.

Our long trip of Utah awesomeness is over and we had a ton of fun. I don't want to overwhelm this post with to many different happenings- so I think I will just post something new every day... or so.

Lets start at the very beginning:

Or... maybe at the middle because somehow all the shots I took before David got to SLC have tragically disappeared. Bummer.

Anyway. This is Emily's (David's sister) wedding.

I don't know if you can see with it being so dark and stuff, but here is a picture of Dave looking awesome.



I took a picture of Annie taking a picture of me.



The happy couple.



The other happy couple.



I'm on a boat with Aly. (Don't worry- that isn't supposed to make sense to you.)



Miles says we "are a funny goose."





Nibble on that until tomorrow.

Travel plans for the future? No, thank you.

So, we did it. We left Dave in Erie and are now in Salt Lake.

Saturday was our big exciting day. Here are some of our experiences:

Saying Goodbye. I already miss him. I missed him on Friday before we left. This is going to be really hard for me.

Running Away. Miles loves to run away especially in parking lots and at airports apparently.

Buffalo to Chicago. I sat next to Miles and Celeste had Faye on her lap. Faye screamed on the way up and on the way down. Miles lasted about ten minutes until the naughtiness kicked in. It was horrible. He hit me. My son does not hit me. You can imagine my anger. I got right up in his grill and told him that we do NOT hit and that made him "vewy sad" which turned into anger which resulted in him hitting me again. And the cycle lasted a while until I decided that he was in the naughty corner (which meant that I turned away from him). It was a very sad hour and 30 minutes.

I heart the midwest. So, I would wouldn't say we were traveling light. We had 1 large stroller, 2 car seats, 1 diaper bag, 1 toy bag, 1 purse, 1 DVD player, and 1 everything bag which held food, water, breastmilk and other important things. Trying to haul all of this crap with 1 sad baby and 1 indecisive two year old was a feat in it self. Luckilly we had about 15 people offer help and they were extremely useful carrying the stroller, seats, and bags up and down stairs and onto the shuttle. It was pretty embarrassing.

Milking. Because we had no time between flights and I was already flustered as it was- I very sadly forgot breast milk for Faye. The flight was 3 hours long and she was going to need to eat. I had no choice. I stepped into the bathroom with an empty cup and walked out with 2.5 ounces of fresh squeezed deliciousness. That's right. It got even better when two ladies asked me if I just milked myself and we had a nice conversation about it in front of about 10-15 total strangers. It was awesome. ...oh, wait- what is the opposite of awesome?

Thank heaven for Celeste. I would've passed out in panic if she hadn't been there to save me and my children. Thank you, sister.

And now. Now we are here and happy and healthy. Miles is really enjoying his time with the family and Faye enjoys everything- always. Of course, we miss Daddy very much- but we have ichat, blogging, unlimited calling, texts and pix to make it seem like we are a little closer to home.

Until next time.

Prego Log #11: My Hospital Woes.

Alright. I have been avoiding blogging about this because there is so much to say and I don't want to write it all. So, I've decided to make it as painless as possible and give the easiest and quickest report that I can...

Craziness #1:

Tuesday night: Miles plays and is normal, but has had no interest in food for a while. I start having some serious contractions.

Tuesday bedtime: Miles cries and it worries me. I bring him down to lay with me and BAM! puke city. Again and again. More contractions for me.

Tuesday late til Wednesday morning: Miles wakes up every half hour to dry heave. He is the sickest I have ever seen him.

Wednesday mid morning: I try giving him a tablespoon of water and he can't keep that down. We are off to the doctor.

Wednesday noon: Doctor's orders- we are off to the hospital. I'm having contractions galore.

We stay at the hospital for two days. Miles has Rotavirus. You can't cure it- just wait it out. It was the saddest thing I have ever seen. He has a few bags of IV fluids slowly dripping into his body and seems like he is in some sort of coma. I've never seen anything like it. Nothing compares to watching your child suffer. I am just not strong enough to handle stuff like that. My poor baby.

Thursday morning: Dave comes to the hospital to be with Miles so I can make my pregs appointment. I promise to be back in no more than 1 hour.

Craziness #2:

Doctors appointment- 45 minutes later: I call Dave literally hyperventilating. The doctor tells me I am dilated to a 6 and that there is a lot of stress on the baby. She sends me to the hospital to possibly start labor. Of course, it is not the same hospital that Miles is at. I realize that I haven't slept in three days and I am more than falling apart emotionally.

I have never been as stressed out.

I have never been such a wreck.

Thursday afternoon: David meets me at the hospital after Miles finally gets discharged. I start to de-stress. No labor. Less contractions.

Thursday night: I'm going home. The doctor at the hospital says I'm only at a 4 (So dilation is pretty subjective then?) and that I could go anytime. Most likely over the weekend... I get to go home.

Friday: Nothing. Maybe 2 contractions.

Saturday: Nothing. In fact, besides feeling like a bowling ball is about to drop into my pants, I feel like my pregnancy is going backwards in time. No contractions. What the nuts is going on?

Craziness #3:

Sunday: My water breaks. I call the doctor. Off to the hospital again.

Sunday afternoon: My water didn't break. I'm an idiot and I have just wasted one more full day of study time for David. Worst wife ever.

And now it is Wednesday at 9:30 in the pm. I'm fat as can be. I can barely put on my socks. And my body believes I am in my second trimester again. I'm pretty sure when I go to the doctor tomorrow- she will tell me that I am only dilated to a 1 and that she expects the baby will come sometime in February. I can see it happening.

Anyway, that is my story. Miles was sick. And I was in false labor and then thought I was in labor, but I was false.

If my husband were here he would say: "Cool story Hansel."

It is a cool story. Oh, wait... "cool" probably isn't the word I'm looking for. I think it's probably something more like "crappy."

***************************

Here is a list of people I would like to thank for helping me out during this crazy time:

-David. Who had absolutely no time to do any of this and who managed to put his family first- even during finals week. I love you more than you can possibly imagine.

-Momma Suite. Who was literally on a plane within minutes of me calling her to come out here and help. She made 4 connecting flights and traveled all day when she should've been at home taking care of so many other things. I'm so grateful for her love and selflessness. She is the most amazing woman that I know.

-The Hursts. For dropping all of their going-ons to come give Miles a blessing at 7:30 in the morning and for driving David, me and the car all around town to get us safely where we needed to be. Not to mention watching sick Miles while Dave and I were at the hospital. We are so grateful to have such good friends.

-Everyone else. I can't even begin to tell you how many people called, emailed, or stopped by to see if there was anything they could do for us- be it here or in Utah.

I am overwhelmed with the generosity of our friends here in Erie. I didn't even know that people knew what was going on and everyone was so amazing. The ward is truly our family and I am so grateful that I have so many people I can trust and lean on in any crisis. I really love you guys.

I was even getting calls from Utah, Ohio and West Virgina. (Does someone have a phone tree I don't know about?) I am so blessed to have such good friends and family all over.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Prego Log #2: The Move

Well, I think things have really turned around. I have only puked once in the past few days and it is like a dream come true! I wouldn't say that I am feeling "well," but at least I am functioning and able to get a few things done here and there. One big plus is that Miles has stopped lifting the lid and pretending to throw-up every time he sees the toilet. I'm really excited about that. As long as I have a constant flow of Tic-Tac's- I'll be fine. And yes, I believe in the power of a good placebo.

Moving on... (Pun absolutely intended) Today is the big day. The moving van is here and David has been working hard to get it loaded. If I were Andy Samburg from SNL I would say "we're gonna pack it up nice"- Well, I'd say it even if I wasn't him...

We're gonna pack it up nice.

And nice we have. In fact, David is finishing up the heavy stuff while Miles and I are selfishly waking up from a nap. I use pregnancy as an excuse for a lot of things.

Anyway, David begins the trek to Erie tomorrow morning at about 4 am. Good luck, my friend. Then we close on our very first purchase of a home on Monday! The youngings and I will be flying on July 6th so if you are in SLC and we haven't had our goodbye hangouts- call me right now. And if you're in Erie and want to become my best friend- call me on July 7th.

Peace to the mizzax.